Crocheting and Kids

I learned to crochet last week.  Well, I began learning how to crochet.  My sister crochets beautiful things - scarves, afghans, hats all sorts of things.  My mother in law crochets too.  She has entered some of her things in the State Fair.  Both of them have told me how fun and relatively easy it is to learn.  For thirty five years I have told my mother in law the issue is I am left handed and she is right handed therefore making it very hard for me to learn.   It wasn't that I didn't want to, I envisioned myself many times sitting, watching television and my fingers nimbly working the yarn and the hook. It was that I knew it was going to be hard.  My sister called one day and told me she had bought a book on beginning crocheting that had left handed instructions.  YAY!  She would teach me during our week in Estes Park.  I really was excited and just knew that by the end of the week I would be turning out a beautiful afghan.  My three children would fight over who got mom's first afghan!

The lesson began - I was ready.  Yarn in one hand, hook in the other.  The first thing my sister noticed was that I wasn't relaxed.  My fingers were too tight and up close to the end of the hook. Apparently that was not good.  My project was a coaster.  According to the directions I would be able to whip one out in about an hour.  My sister was very patient.  She would lovingly say, Well, let me see what you have done.  She repeated that phrase over and over and over and over again.  She, being a retired educator, was extremely supportive and kept telling me it looked great. (It really didn't.)

After 7 hours and all I had accomplished was the first row or foundation, my dreams of my children arguing over who would get my first afghan were dashed.  I must have ripped that first row out a hundred times.  Either the loops were too tight or too lose or there was what looked like a growth coming out of the side.  She would say, leave it, it's ok.  But I knew it wasn't.  I was determined so the next crocheting time came and I was at it again.  Deciding maybe it was the cotton yarn, I switched yarns and it did seem much easier.  I made my second coaster in about an hour compared to the 36 hours for the first!

Ever more determined I started on my third coaster.  Could I possibly have a set of 4 before I left to go home?  I was starting to get excited.  I really had learned to crochet!   All along my sister would periodically ask, What do your instructions say?  I had it down, I stopped following along.  My third coaster was the best so far until it was time to finish the edges.  I had forgotten to look at my instructions so instead I snipped the yarn.  I realized quickly I still needed that yarn to do the slip stitch around the edges. I won't repeat what I said.  Always the educator my sister said, Really, it's okay.  We can just tie this together and you are set.  I told her I would do that later and that I was going to do my fourth coaster so I would have all four.

Here's the deal.  It was really, really hard.  I would sneak a peek at my sister crocheting and her fingers were just as relaxed as could be.  She could even visit while she worked!  I wanted to quit, several times.  I thought, I could pay  YOU to make my dumb coasters!  But I didn't.  I kept at it.  I posted my progress on Face Book and loving friends encouraged me, even though I know in their minds they were thinking Oh my gosh!  

I do not recommend you teach your child how to crochet.  Although they might be better than I am. But it reminded me of how hard it is for young children to learn new things.  I learned because my sister provided a scaffold for me.  She walked me through it, she modeled it for me.  She did a little and said, Now, you try it, all the while watching.  She kept encouraging me over and over again.

I think we do a disservice to children when we don't provide that scaffold.  When we don't encourage them all along the way.  When we don't do a little and say, Now you try it.  I think we do an even bigger disservice when we think they will learn something and be great the very first time, not giving them time to practice their craft.  It's a disservice to not realize how hard learning is, regardless of the content.

So....when you teach your child something or they come home from school discouraged about not being able to learn something, remember learning is very, very hard!  Remind them of that too!