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As they grow and continue in school hopefully they will be in a program that has them do word sorts and word analysis rather than silly activities such as writing the words 3 times. I'll address that at a later time. When children conduct word sorts they are able to conclude that 'oi' is used when the sound is in the middle of a word or syllable. They will conclude that if that sound is at the end of a word or syllable it is spelled 'oy'.
Parker now knows how to spell the word no, among others. He can analyze that word and conclude that if he can spell no, he can change the 'n' to a 'g' and spell go. Change the 'n' to an 's' and he has so. He learned that by knowing how to spell one word, he can spell many others.
In the meantime he needs to be encouraged to write and record his thoughts. If we want children to write we have to encourage them to write words they don't yet control. That can only happen when we allow inventive spelling. Understand that initially a child may only write the first letter as that may be all they hear. Then, developmentally they write the beginning and end of the word. So the word cat might be written ct. My favorite was a first grader trying to write the word hydraulics, she wrote hijroliks. Makes sense to me. If inventive spelling wasn't encouraged for above age words, she never would have even tried. We don't let children continue using inventive spelling once they have been taught a spelling pattern. We should and do hold them accountable for spelling those words correctly.
When your child is writing and asks how to spell a word, please don't say sound it out. Rather say, What sounds do you hear? Write those down. What sound do you hear first? Next? At the end?
Let's see how well you can read inventive spelling. I will start up a few levels to make it easier for you.
min, jrv, rop, bak, wndw
So.....how did you do?
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