It's okay to lie

Today is obviously a very somber and important day in our history.  For many of us we can remember exactly where we were and what we were doing.  For some of us, all we know are the stories that have been told about that horrific day.  For others still, it is even more personal than that because loved ones were lost or they experienced it first hand.

So how do we explain it to young children?   Some really young ones don't even  need it mentioned.   They have no concept or background knowledge on which to hang this information.  They are easy, phew!  If your child is in school, more than likely and hopefully it was discussed.  I am sure curriculum has been developed to teach it.

We need to be careful though and keep the age, both actual and emotional, of the child in mind.  My grandson, Parker is very sensitive.  I like to call  him an old soul.  He was concerned after the 911 discussion at school that planes fly into buildings every Sept. 11!  Very matter of fact - that's what happens on September 11, you know that happens in September and then in October you go trick or treating etc.  It seems insensitive until you think about the mind and background knowledge of a 6 year old.  In his little, young mind special days happen each year and you do pretty much the same thing each year.

My concern is that we have no idea the emotional turmoil he may be in the next time he flies.   Will my plane fly into a building?  Will bad men be on my plane?  To be honest, I have those thoughts when I fly but as an adult I can rationalize those thoughts...a 6 year old can't.

The dilemma then is what do we tell them and who does the telling?   You can't keep your child home every time something sad or difficult may be discussed at school.  But you can talk to your child.  Depending on the age of the child, I think it's perfectly fine to lie.  Tell them it won't happen again.  Tell them we are safe and it is safe to fly.  Tell them planes don't fly into buildings any more.  If they ask how you know?  Tell them important people have made sure of it.  They don't really need anything else at the age of six except to be reassured that they are safe.   There is plenty of time the rest of their lives for the truth.  At least that's what I think.