You are more than a mom!

You go by several names and sadly your name is one of the last you go by.  You will be someone's mom  a long time.  I have to admit, I was a little sad when I was no longer known as, Emily's mom, Amy's mom or Blake's mom.  For such a huge part of our lives we are someone's mom. That's our identity.  There is nothing wrong with that, it's just a fact.

Some of us are also known as someone's wife.  When I got married, I was given a copy of the church cookbook.  All the recipes were authored by Mrs. (insert husband's first & last name).  Being a product of the 70's I was determined I would be known by MY name, not as Mrs. Anyone.  

I was reading an article this morning about how when asked what they have been doing, mother's typically reply with, oh, you know, just being a mom, or just momming it up! When I read that I thought, how sad.  You do so much!  You shouldn't say it like it's nothing.  You are so much more. You have a separate identity...or you should.

When I talk to moms, especially moms that do not work outside the house, they forget that they have lives or even entitled to have lives that don't involve being a mom.  Sometimes when a young mom says, Oh, I couldn't do that, or I don't have time for that, I feel sorry for them.   Parenting, unless you are a single mom, should be a shared experience.  I have had moms tell me that they can't take a little time for themselves, because their husband, the dad, has been working all day.  Well guess what! So have you!!!

If you are a working mom, throw in the self or society imposed guilt for working and not being a full time mom and you even have more issues with which to deal. 

You need to remember what makes you - you.  One day your kids will be grown or at least not need you as much.  You will go back to being 'your name', not someone's mom.  Sometimes that is a little late to remember who you are or were.

You and your husband need to make a date night once a week.   It doesn't have to cost money.  It can be walking around the mall.  You don't even have to leave the house.  It can be making a date to watch a movie together after the kids are in bed.  It's important to maintain the relationship.  I have seen too many couples put 100% of their lives into their kids.  The kids grow up and all of a sudden that common bond is gone.  It happens.  (Your kids will be super with 90% for them and 10% for you and your husband.)

So introduce yourself as you, with your name, first, not as someone's mom.  In the upcoming crazy holiday season, take time for yourself.  You and your husband watch a Hallmark movie together. Well, maybe not a Hallmark movie.