Out of the mouths of babes

When our son was little we were at church and he wanted one of the cookies that had been brought to be delivered to the homeless people.  I wasn't really thinking and said, Those aren't for us, they are for the poor people. He quickly replied, Mommy you said we were poor.  Imagine my embarrassment when all the matriarchs of the church looked at me.  We weren't poor, but I would sometimes use that line when they wanted something.   Instead of saying, No, you don't need that.  My own mother would tell the story of the time she and my dad were entertaining.  When one couple arrived and my mother was gushing over how great it was to see them, apparently I piped up and said, Mommy, you told daddy you didn't like her, she talked too much.

  I think I got in trouble.   I don't remember it really but I am sure it happened.   I always loved when a student came to school and would tell me that their dad said I didn't' know what I was talking about.  Nine times out of ten the comments were taken out of context.

 We've all been there.  We are in public and our child repeats something we have said.  Sometimes it is something we have said directly to them and sometimes it is something our child has overheard us say to someone else.  We think they aren't listening.  The thing is, small children are ALWAYS listening.  Not in an eavesdropping kind of way, just soaking it all in.

So, we have to be really careful around them.   Children are born with a clean slate.   They don't know racism, feminism or any kind of "ism".  They see all the children in their class as 'friends' - not a black friend, or hispanic friend or white friend, just friend.  Most of them love their teacher and think the teacher hung the moon.  Sometimes we know the teacher isn't great, but be careful when you are venting to someone that little ears can't hear you.  I promise it will be repeated....innocently, but still repeated.

We are a nation trying to reverse bullying and 'mean' girls.  Kids aren't born with any of that.  They learn to talk ugly about people from hearing others talk ugly.  They learn to 'label' people from others. Even when we say things like, isn't she the one with the weird mom? that's not very nice, that's a label.

So let's make this the year of saying nice, positive things in front of our children.  Who knows, it may start changing the world.