Octonauts as a learning tool?

I read the article Education Is Working Just Fine and it has really stuck with me and made me think and rethink and then think some more.  Jordan Shapiro covers a lot of issues in the article but one that really stood out was his comment about "inundating with intent".  It is very interesting so I encourage you to read the article. 

Children who struggle in school and specifically reading don't make connections.   They see everything in isolation.  (Maybe that's because so many teachers teach that way...sorry editorial comment.)  Every time a child learns something new, they 'test' it against what they already know.  If they get a 'match' it is easily learned.  If not,  they struggle and try to determine which 'file' this new learning should go into.  Shapiro writes that sometimes in our determination to let our children be themselves, we don't teach them the cultural norms.   Read the article for his segment on drawing Batman.  And, I am afraid I am a little like his mother!

Here is what I am thinking after reading the article with regards to inundating with intent and supporting young children.  There really is research that supports the more literate background kids come from, the better prepared and more successful they are in school.    We know too, that kids will learn about characters, setting, plot, you know elements of fiction or literary text.  We know that kids need to understand different genres. So, let's inundate with intent!  The next time you are watching, Clifford the Bog Red Dog, Octonauts, Mickey Mouse Club or whatever is your child's favorite 'story', ask who were the characters, what was the problem, where did the story take place?  It doesn't have to be a drill, yet casual conversation like: So, --- and ---- were the characters on the show, just like in the books we read.  How did Mickey and Minnie solve their problem, etc.  

It's even easier to 'inundate with intent' with regards to making an inference, a prediction, drawing a conclusion while watching those shows.  Ask things like, what do you think, predict, will happen next?  Why do you think that happened? It's really not that hard when you think about it.

Give it a try!   Most of us do it already, now we just need to label it.

Drivin' along with the ABCs

When we would go buy a new car our young children always wanted the ones with the bells and whistles.  You know, the DVD, game center stuff.  I would always state that we were not going to sacrifice oral language and opportune learning times for movies and games in the car.  I explained that we would sing and talk and play learning games.  For the last car or 'mini-van' buying expedition they were pretty much grown.  However, again, they lamented how everyone else had cool cars.  Before I could get the words out of my mouth they emphatically stated that their oral language was very developed and could we please have the DVD.  Nope!

I have written a few times about the importance of letter recognition and how easily (and naturally) they can be taught.  Of course you are already writing your child's name around in places and saying things like, That spells your name.  The letters are---.  But, are you utilizing the car time?

We are all in the car for long periods of time.  Use that time, they are captive audiences!  Here are just a few things to do to support letter identification and letter sounds while driving around.
1. As you drive have your child look for the letters in their name as you pass billboards and other signs.  If needed, start with having them look for the first letter, then add the other letters.
2.  Look for the ABCs.  While driving, have your child look for an 'a', then 'b' and so on.
3. Have your child look for things that begin the same way as their name.
4. You call out a letter and they look for it.
5. You say a word, example car, they have to say another word that begins the same way.
6. For advance kiddos play #5 game again but this time they have to come up with a word that starts like the ending.  You say, car, they must say a word that begins with the letter 'r'.
7. As you pass things call is out and ask them what letter or sound it begins with.   For example, We just passed a truck.  What letter (sound) does truck begin with? We just passed Target, what sound do you hear at the beginning of Target?

It really is very fun and they will think of other games to play.  So use that time wisely.

Puzzles, great overlooked tool!

When Emily was very young I shared with a friend that we were getting some puzzles for Emily. My friend gave me this odd look and remarked that her child had never asked for puzzles.  Her child was about the same age.  I thought to myself, well duh!  Emily hadn't asked for them either.  At this age they don't know about puzzles.  I can't think of an 18 month old who has said, Mom, I would like to try a puzzle! It's up to us to expose them to puzzles!  Really young children have no idea what they need or not need.  It's up to us.

Puzzles are great learning tools.  In addition to the obvious matching letters or numbers, putting a picture together, puzzles allow children to learn problem solving skills.  Think about it,  when the piece doesn't fit, they have to problem solve.  Think of the oral language you can use: twist it, flip it, turn it, rotate it. Amazing words.  

Children also develop spacial awareness, the ability to see how things might fit together.   Will this piece fit into that spot?  (Will all of this 'stuff' fit in the trunk of the car?)  Spacial awareness comes in later when children are learning about geometry and area.

Process of elimination is also learned.    For example if this piece goes here, then this piece must go there.  I have one piece left and one spot left, that must be where the piece goes.

Children also learn patience.   Some children get frustrated when working with puzzles.   You can model for them how to turn the piece to make it fit.  Patience is a skill they will use forever!

If you haven't bought a puzzle go buy one.   Start out with the chunky pieces and maybe only 3-5 pieces.  If your child is a little older, teach them how to find all the corner and straight edge pieces first.

Every home should have puzzles.   Puzzles are some of the best learning tools around!

How well do you know your letters?

Most children can sing the ABC song.  And, most initially sing it elemeno instead of L, M, N, O.  They will learn soon enough.   Singing the letters is one way to know a letter, naming it. Knowing a letter by the name includes seeing a letter and saying, oh that's a 'z'.  A letter can be shown and the child is asked,  what's this letter? Naming a letter also includes being able to identify a specific letter out of a group of letters.

That is one way, and the easiest way to know a letter.  A letter is also known by the sound it makes.  That's the letter 'z' and it says, /zzzzzzz/.  It's important to attach a word to the word so the child has some familiarity.   The letter 'z' makes the /zzzz/ sound as in your name, Zoey.  A fun thing to do once they know what sound their name begins with is to ask what other words begin with /z/.  As you talk you can say Oh that starts with /z/ just like your name, Zoey. What else starts like Zoey?

The the third way to know a letter is by word, beginning sound.  So, we know what a z looks like, we know it says, /z/ and now we can say, it is at the beginning of the word zoo or zipper.  (As you choose names for future children you might think about additional words that start with the same letter. Z is limiting.   Just kidding!)

Typically children learn all three ways at the same time.   But many times they learn the name but not the sound or word association.   I have heard children say, Oh that's in my brother's name, it says /p/.  It's very easy to say, That's right, that's the letter 'p'.

Don't feel like you have to quiz your child on all the ways to know a letter.   Just be aware.  If your child says, Oh that's an 'L', just add yes, it says, /l/, it's in your name.

If your child's teacher says they don't know the letters, be sure and clarify with, Do you mean they don't know the letter name, the sound or a word association?  They will be impressed...or not.

There is a lot to learn in the first few years children are on this earth.
 It's amazing when you stop and think about it!

First Day/Week Don'ts

Excited Kindergarten teacher

If you are reading this right now it may be a little too late!  Not really.  I know that every child in the class is the most important child to someone.  The problem is most teachers have 22 of the 'most important' children.  Teachers, whether they be Mother's Day Out, preschool, Kindergarten or even high school, want to know about your child.   They want to hear about your child's likes and dislikes, things that upset them, etc.   Just not on the first day of school at the room door.

Even when I was young and could remember things, I would tell my parents to please write it down. When you have parents telling you things at the door that first day or even week, as a teacher you are still trying to put names with faces.  During the day, you stop and think, who was that that told me...

If there are things that are really important to you to share, ask to set a conference within that first week.  That way the teacher can take notes.  Sometimes you just want to share your child's anxieties...that's fine, just not at the door as all the kids are coming in.

In fact, I always appreciated parents setting a time to visit with me the first week of school.  It wasn't long, just a couple of minutes but it allowed me to get to know them a little and start to build a relationship.  (Ahhh, that relationship thing!)

Understand that most classes start off slowly.   There are a lot of rules and procedures that have to be introduced and practiced.   Yes, for some, even getting in a line takes practice.  Don't judge the whole year and what your child will learn on the first day, week or even 2-3 weeks.  If you are concerned, set a time to visit and ask questions.

Basically, don't say anything other than good morning at the classroom door and if you need to say more, write it down and hand it to the teacher.  Remember, you can always set a conference time.

All books aren't stories???

One of the things that children need to be exposed to is different types of genres.  Genre is really just a fancy word for categories of books, music, etc.  If you listen to music, you might have different genres you like, maybe classical, jazz, country or blues.   We have different genres in books as well.   There are fairy tales, fables, informational, fiction to name a few.   Within fiction, there are different categories or genres. One genre that typically confuses young children (and some adults) is animal fantasy.   These are the books in which animals talk and do human things, like go to school.  Marc Brown's Arthur books are animal fantasy.   They are made up stories about real life things.  To my knowledge aardvarks don't go to school let alone talk. These books are fun to read and many times help young children solve or deal with real life issues.  A large percentage of books for children are animal fantasies.

Informational books are important to expose young children to because they teach us about our world. Children need to realize that we read everything and that everything isn't a story.  There are biographies, informational books, procedures/directions (how-to), realistic fiction, recipes and on and on.   I am not proposing that young children be able to pick up a book, look at it and state the genre.   I am proposing that parents expose their children to all types of genres.  I am proposing that when you do read to your child you call the text by the correct name.   It is very hard to convince a 5 year old that even though mom and dad called everything a story, everything isn't a story.

A story has to have certain elements; characters, setting, a plot.  An informational book about frogs doesn't have that.  It just has information.  So as you read, or your child 'reads', say things like,  That was a great fairy tale.  I like how fairy tales start with once upon a time.  Or maybe, I really liked that animal fantasy. I could tell it was made up because animals don't really talk.  Perhaps you could say, That was an interesting informational book on dinosaurs.  We learned a lot! It is your language that is important.

Will your child be damaged for life if you don't do the genre talk?  Of course not.   Will your child be a little more aware of texts thereby making him a little more prepared for school?  Yep!

Bubbles and Learning

Yesterday I got to spend the day with a little friend.  One of the things we did was play with bubbles.  It was pure joy watching her play with them.  She would chase them, see how many she could catch.  She would try to make them by waving the wand rather than blowing.  It was great fun.

At one point several of the bubbles landed on one of my plants.  As the bubbles hung on the ends of the leaves, she said, They look like Christmas ornaments!  They really did.  It looked as if we had carefully hung clear balls on the end of each leaf.  Each time she would then try to see how many she could get to land on the plant.  Unknowingly she started doing math.  She would say, Look! I made five bubbles, ohhh, only two landed on our tree.   Three popped.  She engaged in natural 'talk'.  I didn't need to say, That was a math equation.  That's 5-2=3.  She will get that soon enough.  What's important is that she was seeing that on her own.  Once she starts formal equations in school, she will have that background knowledge on which to hook it.

Will the bubbles land on the end of leaves every time?  Maybe not.  If not, she was still able to pose natural hypotheses when trying to blow the bubbles out of the wand or wave them out.  Will more come out when she runs or stands?  How 'bout the comparative language when she says, Ohhh, that one was tiny but that's really bigger!

I won't even mention how fun bubbles are for the imagination!

Parenting by Facebook

I have to say that I am glad I raised my children when social media consisted of a call on a phone that was hooked to a wall and a letter or card that had to be put in a box, picked up by someone in a truck, and delivered to the receiving party a few days later.  Don't get me wrong, I love social media.  I love being able to keep up through pictures of people I don't see very often.  I love the ability to instantly 'chat' with someone and see them at the same time. I comment all the time how wonderful it is to be part of Parker's and Zoey's day when they are living across the state.

I worry, though about the children being raised by social media.  I think it's great (and also a little intimidating) that these children are 'technology natives'.  It's not that they have embraced technology, it's been part of their lives since birth.  It's what they know.

What worries me is how, as parents we use social media.  Back in the day, if we had a question about potty training, eating habits, bedtime routines, etc. we asked the pediatrician or we read a book written by a child expert.  Today it seems if a parent has a parenting question, they post it to their 150 Facebook friends.  I read some of the parenting suggestions and think,  NO!  That's horrible advice. Don't do that.  They are 2 or 3 or whatever.  They are trying to figure out the world! Some teacher will be trying to undo that in a few years! You have no idea how you are shaping them in the long run.

Sometimes children go through stages, they don't know any better.   It's up to parents to be patient and teach them while at the same time giving them time to learn.  Parenting is very hard. It's sacrificial.  It's sleepless nights and getting up over and over and over again.  Funny how we want teachers to give our children time to learn things but we don't give our own children that time.

I used to tell my children that just because everyone else was doing something didn't make it right.  If everyone on Facebook is suggesting you do something before you jump off and do it, think...Does this sound reasonable for this age?  Deep down, do I think this is right?  

And if all else fails, read a book written by a child development expert.  You can even do that on-line. Your child can show you how!

Speak up for your child!

We fight for everything under the sun.  We complain about what's fair and what isn't.  We boycott stores for different reasons.  We take our dollars to other stores because a cashier was rude or the lines are always too long.  We tell a manager if we don't like how we are treated. We send food back if it's not to our liking (well, I don't but I know people who do.) I think we behave this way because we know we have choices.

What really saddens me is when it comes to our kids and education most of us don't stand up.  We say things like, I don't want to say anything yet, I am sure the teacher knows, I don't want to be that parent. I don't want the teacher to take it out on my child. Truth of the matter is - teachers are human.  We make dumb mistakes sometimes that are not in the best interest of your child.  Sometimes we make decisions based on what is easier for us and not what is best for a child.  Sometimes we are just mean spirited teachers.  Yes, I said it.  Sometimes teachers are just mean.   Sometimes teachers are teaching a grade they don't really like.

Here are some times, I think as a teacher, a parent should speak up.
1. If it's the first of the year and the teacher is already talking to you about getting your child tested for ADD, ADHD etc. speak up!   Some children take longer to adjust to school, especially if they have been at home.  Personally, if a teacher asked me if my child had been in school before Kindergarten, I would have said, No, it's not required.  I would also ask the teacher what exactly is my child doing when the "ADD" behavior is coming out.
2.  If the teacher is talking to you about having your child tested because he/she isn't grasping things as quickly as some of the other kids, speak up!  Kids have the entire year.   I have had children who seemed to not be learning anything and then after Christmas, something magical would happen and they would start 'getting' it.
3. If a teacher wants your 3-5 year old to be tested for dyslexia, speak up! It is typical for children to reverse letters, numbers etc, through second grade. It's easier for a teacher when the children who require additional attention to leave the room.
4. If it's early in the year and the teacher is having difficulty getting your child to 'conform' or behave, speak up!  Of course work with the teacher but it's the teacher's job to teach your child and that includes school expectations.

We have limited choices when it comes to education.  We can home school, or put them in private school if we don't like the public school but most of us really don't have choices.  I am not saying complain about everything, but ask questions, try to ask enough questions to determine if the issue really is your child or the teacher.   And then, speak up!

Take some time to chill!

My husband loves to take naps.  Me, not so much.   I always feel I am wasting time.  Think of all the things I could get done if I don't nap.  Typically what happens is I go as long as I can and then I crash.  To be honest the time right before I crash usually isn't very productive.  I was raised with the belief that 5-10 idle minutes is plenty of time to start a project.  Watching t.v.?   Multitask and fold clothes.

I think we do that to our kids.   We are so worried they won't be ready for this or for that or the neighbor's kid will look or be smarter or better or whatever, that we don't allow our kids to just chill, to just be. I think we have a lot of overly anxious kids because they can't just chill.   You know, just play or relax.

I am guilty myself of telling parents to talk or read or explore or investigate with their child.  But not 24 hours a day or even every hour the child is awake.   Yes, you need to talk to your child to develop oral language but it's okay to just be still or quiet.  They will not be behind if an hour or two slips by and you haven't engaged them in an activity.

Children need to be independent, they need to learn how to entertain themselves.  Don't feel like you have to be the cruise director for your child every waking minute.  They will be fine if they play a little bit while you do something else.  They will be fine if they just relax.  I don't even mean with a movie or game,  just relax.

We indirectly teach them that they have to be 'doing' all the time.  They grow up thinking they can't take time for a nap!

Let's Go, Let's Go, L-E-Q-S-P-O

When I was in college at the football games I would cheer right along with the cheerleaders.  At one particular game I was with my now husband and cheering loud and proud.  Let's go, let's go, l-e-q-s-p-o! Keith looked at me and said, What in the world are you saying?  That makes no sense! I replied with, Of course it doesn't make sense it's a cheer!  You see I was of the generation that believed cheerleaders weren't bright... so if they made the cheer it wouldn't make sense.  (I do need to insert here that we went on to have two very bright daughters who were cheerleaders!)  Keith kindly explained that actually the cheer DID make sense.   It was let's go, let's go, l-e-t-s-g-o!

You see I wasn't a critical listener.  We actually train our children to not be critical or good listeners.  How many of us have said to our children, I'm not going to tell you again.  If I  have to tell you again, This is the third time I have asked you. We condition them to not listen until the third or fourth or so time.  But this lack of listening critically really can cause them grief in school.

In preschool and Kindergarten we teach phonological awareness.  This is the ability to hear rhyming words, hear syllables, hear sounds in words.  It gets sort of complicated but the first step is to listen critically.  This ability to hear individual sounds (not letters) in words helps them later in school when they spell.  So start now training your child to listen critically.  It's really easy and more importantly, fun.

Since it's the weekend, take a few minutes and stretch out in the backyard.   Have your child close their eyes.   For a few minutes have them just listen to all the sounds around.  It might be an air conditioner coming on, a car door shutting, a dog barking, the leaves on the tree, who knows.   Just be still and listen.  Then talk about the sounds you heard.

Another game to play is to have your child close their eyes.  You make a series of noises like clap, snap, stomp.   Have your child open their eyes and see if they can repeat the sounds in order.   What did you do?  Repeat the game again but delete a sound - clap...stomp.   This time ask your child which sound was missing.

These are silly games but will have huge payoffs for your child later down the road in school.
So in the meantime - let's go , let's go, you know the rest!

Out of the mouths of babes

When our son was little we were at church and he wanted one of the cookies that had been brought to be delivered to the homeless people.  I wasn't really thinking and said, Those aren't for us, they are for the poor people. He quickly replied, Mommy you said we were poor.  Imagine my embarrassment when all the matriarchs of the church looked at me.  We weren't poor, but I would sometimes use that line when they wanted something.   Instead of saying, No, you don't need that.  My own mother would tell the story of the time she and my dad were entertaining.  When one couple arrived and my mother was gushing over how great it was to see them, apparently I piped up and said, Mommy, you told daddy you didn't like her, she talked too much.

  I think I got in trouble.   I don't remember it really but I am sure it happened.   I always loved when a student came to school and would tell me that their dad said I didn't' know what I was talking about.  Nine times out of ten the comments were taken out of context.

 We've all been there.  We are in public and our child repeats something we have said.  Sometimes it is something we have said directly to them and sometimes it is something our child has overheard us say to someone else.  We think they aren't listening.  The thing is, small children are ALWAYS listening.  Not in an eavesdropping kind of way, just soaking it all in.

So, we have to be really careful around them.   Children are born with a clean slate.   They don't know racism, feminism or any kind of "ism".  They see all the children in their class as 'friends' - not a black friend, or hispanic friend or white friend, just friend.  Most of them love their teacher and think the teacher hung the moon.  Sometimes we know the teacher isn't great, but be careful when you are venting to someone that little ears can't hear you.  I promise it will be repeated....innocently, but still repeated.

We are a nation trying to reverse bullying and 'mean' girls.  Kids aren't born with any of that.  They learn to talk ugly about people from hearing others talk ugly.  They learn to 'label' people from others. Even when we say things like, isn't she the one with the weird mom? that's not very nice, that's a label.

So let's make this the year of saying nice, positive things in front of our children.  Who knows, it may start changing the world.

Give 'em room!

We are all guilty of trying to make sure our kids are 'school' ready.  I have had parents call and ask what should they be doing to get their child 'ready' for school.  They typically don't like my answer.   I think the ones who call want to hear, buy a workbook, make flashcards, start quizzing them on letters and math facts.  Instead I tell them the things I have been writing about.   Give them opportunities, develop that oral language, build that background knowledge and read!

Years ago a friend called me upset because her daughter was starting Kindergarten and couldn't read.  The child's oral language was unbelievable...but she couldn't read.   A mutual friend had  a daughter starting school too.  Her daughter could read.  My first friend was so worried that her daughter would be behind.  I told them both not to worry. Skip ahead a few months and the nonreader was reading beautifully.  In fact, she was reading well above grade level by first grade and has continued to be an incredible reader.

What does all that have to do with the picture posted?  Many times, we throw what's appropriate out in favor of trying to make sure our children are 'ready' for school.  We let stores tell us what our children need.  We buy coloring books or color sheets. What small children need is large paper or poster board to color.  Invest in some butcher paper.  Buy some sidewalk chalk and let them draw/write.  They need the large sweeping strokes and making big circles to help later on with the slant right, slant left, forward circle, they will use in forming letters.  They need a variety of paper with heavy emphasis on large.

Small kids need that gross motor (big movement) development.  It is hard to work on developing fine motor skills (muscles in the fingers for writing, cutting, etc.) without the gross motor.  They go hand in hand.  Did you know there are some schools that begin writing on butcher paper, move to large construction paper and then finally introduce blank paper?  They don't even address lined paper. That's a school that honors children.  Pretty cool.

So, pull out the poster board and give 'em some room to draw or write!

It's a nap mat for Pete's sake!

My youngest grand nugget started 'school' yesterday.   Lola is in the three day a week program, the older toddler class.   That makes me laugh because she is so little and not even two!  But I guess since there is a class for 2's and a class for 3's they need some way to differentiate between the  younger ones. We previously had toured the school, plus it had been recommended.  It's a great place for children.  The night before the big day, her mom and dad were getting everything labeled and ready to go. (Wish I had learned that and hadn't always waited until the morning of!)

One of the things Lola has to take to school is a napping mat.   You know the thin, cold, plastic fold up mat you buy at the store.  The director of the school made the mistake of telling us that some children brought beautiful mats, some brought blankets, a sleep buddy, basically anything that would make nap time more comfortable.  I have a sleeping bag that belonged to Lola's aunt when she was an 'older toddler' that I knew would be perfect for the nap mat.   You've seen them, it's a bag that looks like a girl bear.  Just precious! We could slide the mat inside and she could sleep on top.  Amy thought it was super and I knew Lola would be the envy of every other older toddler.

As Lola's dad gathered up everything to leave with Lola he didn't have the sleeping bag.  So of course I asked, what about the sleeping bag?  I was quickly told (lovingly) that she didn't need all that.   She had a little blanket.  She didn't need to take everything she owned.  Too much stuff!  Well, obviously Lola wasn't going to be the envy of every other older toddler!  

Her dad quickly shared with us later that day that the teacher was appreciative that she had a mat and a blanket, period.   In fact, that was easier for them, the mat could stay at school and be wiped off each day.   The parents who brought all the 'stuff' had to take it back and forth to wash each day.

I knew all that really, but in the excitement of Lola's first school experience I got swept up and forgot about the purpose.  We do that.   We forget they just need a napping mat.   They don't need the mat with the memory foam.  There is a time to go above and beyond and a time to just buy the mat.

What in the heck are they talking about?

My daughter, Amy is a teacher so when we get together we eventually talk school.  Emily, my oldest is not a teacher.   When Amy and I start talking school, Emily  rolls her eyes and says, Oh they are in their yaya school club! When I would share about my day, my husband would stare at me and say, What are you talking about?  Why does education have to have its own language?  Forget that I could argue that his silly technology/computer stuff has its own language but I won't go there!   But he is right, teachers throw terms around as if everyone understands them.  Fact is, everyone doesn't.

Here are a few of the terms that a teacher may use that you might be wondering huh?

1. Phonological awareness - This is listening to the individual sounds in words.  There is no print, just listening.   This builds a foundation for spelling later on.  It includes rhyming and beginning sounds and eventually individual sounds in words.  Most of the activities done are games because it is all listening.  You shouldn't see homework for phonological awareness!

2. Phonics - This is such a 'hot' term but all it really is is putting print to the sounds.   So when we work with letters, we are 'doing' phonics.   When we spell words, we are doing phonics.

3. Stations/Centers - This is the time (hopefully) that your child is working in small groups with one or two other children.  Typically they rotate through them,  It is a time for the children to work or play independently; to practice what they have done with teacher support.

4. Developmentally appropriate - You have heard the term used by pediatricians.  As teachers we use the term to justify that what we are having children do is appropriate for that developmental age or stage.  Be careful because sometimes we use this term and it conflicts with what is really developmentally appropriate.  For example, writing is developmentally appropriate for 3-5 year olds but it is not developmentally appropriate for 3-5 year olds to be writing on notebook paper.   They need blank paper or 1-2 lines on a page.

5. Standards -  Standards are what the state expects your child to learn in that particular grade. The state of Texas uses the TEKS (Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills). The standards are either state adopted for each grade beginning in prekindergarten through 12th grade or they are common core standards which many states have adopted.
6. Fluency - This applies to how fast or slow your child reads.  Once a child can read, their fluency is checked.  This is how many words per minute one reads.  At the end of 1st grade most children should be reading 60 words a minute.  Be careful though because fluency isn't just about speed and sometimes teachers forget that.   Does the child read with expression and intonation? We call that prosody. Keep in mind that some children are very good readers but just read slowly.  The belief is that at some point one might read so slowly comprehension breaks down.  In other words, we don't get what we read if we read real slowly.

There are too many terms to list.  We love acronyms in education too.  ARD, 504, ESL, SPED, and on and on it goes.   Bottom line, whenever you are talking with your child's teacher or caregiver, if you have no idea what they are talking about -  stop them and say, HUH?  They owe it to you to explain. If they can't explain it, well then......

God in public schools.. my only post I promise!

This picture of Zoey talking to the statue reminds me of when my son Blake was about the same age. We had gone to McDonald's for dinner, before we knew we would apparently ruin our children by eating there!  After we ate, Blake went and sat by the big plastic Ronald McDonald who sat on the bench.  He talked to Ronald for a few minutes and when it was time to leave he waved good bye.  He would periodically ask if we could go see his 'friend' at McDonald's. Zoey, in this picture had found a new friend as Emily and I walked looking for ceramic pots.

There is a lot of talk about God being in public schools, taking God out of public schools, putting God back, you name it and there is talk.  I, by no means,  mean to be little the argument but I think we are missing a bigger issue, to me anyway.  I began teaching in the era when the principal or designated person said a quick prayer over the "PA" system.  I remember some children not listening, some children still walking in, a few bowing heads, some teachers utilizing those few precious uninterrupted moments to do something and some teachers bowing their heads.   I also remember mornings when the prayer was garbled and couldn't be understood because of the PA system.  

I also taught and visited campuses in the current era where there is no formal prayer but a moment of silence. Guess what - I see the same thing.  My first knee jerk reaction to  people who think everything is falling apart because we no longer pray in public school is this: If your child's moral, ethical and spiritual life depends on an OZ type (unseen) person saying a generic prayer over an announcement system, we've got bigger issues.  But that's just me.

To me, God is and always has been in public schools.  God is in public schools when we take up coats for the children who have none.  God is there when one child befriends the hard to like friend.  God is there when one child stands up for another child.  God is there when a teacher gives a child the benefit of doubt.  God is there when teachers refuse to enter into gossip about parents or other less fortunate students.  God is there when a teacher comforts an upset child.  God is there when a child stands up to a bully.  God is there when one child invites the 'mean' child to play at recess.  God is there when a teacher is compassionate about the child who never has supplies.  God is there when a teacher goes above and beyond to have a parent conference.  God is there when a teacher never gives up on a child. God is there when a child shares. God is there when one child invites all the children to the birthday party and not just the favorites.  God is there when...

If you want your child to pray, tell your child what to do when there is the moment of silence and then ask your child about it after school.  Also, tell your child to be nice to the child that is hard to be nice to. You have control over your child.  

Zoey made a friend, it didn't matter that it was an inanimate object, just as Blake, years ago had befriended plastic Ronald. 

 If you want God in schools, teach your child to be compassionate.  Look for compassion in the teacher.  God is there with or without the garbled prayer over the PA system.

Your child gets in trouble - ask questions!!!

Oh my!  It's the second week of school and your child isn't conforming to the teacher's rules. What do you do?  Trust me I am a firm believer that a teacher needs to be firm and instill the routines and procedures.  These rules and procedures will carry the children throughout the year and will allow them to be independent.  It also is the beginning of learning how to live in a community.   It is much easier to 'loosen' up in a few weeks than crack down when things are out of control.  I get that.  But they are also 3 or 4 or 5 and learning how to conform to someone else's rules.

At the beginning of the year kids are learning how to behave in school.  You know, do the school thing.  Some kids go to school after being in a 'school'-like setting since they were 6 weeks old.  Others have stayed home and this is their first experience.  Teachers need to understand this and accept each child where he or she is.   Just like we do with academic skills.

So you get the dreaded call or note home.  Here is what I would do.
1. Talk to your child.  Does your child understand what he/she is doing or is supposed to be doing?
2. Ask your child, why he/she is talking or doing whatever it is that is causing the problem.
3. Ask your child what are the other children doing and what should he or she be doing.
4. Ask your child, if there is a problem.
5. Call and request a conference in person with the teacher.   I hate phone calls for these types of conferences because I like to see faces.  It's hard to 'read' people over the phone.
6. Ask the teacher what exactly is the infraction.   If it's talking, ask if she can be more specific.   For example, is it talking while you are talking or while they are working independently?
7. What is your child supposed to be doing? What are the other children doing?
8. Ask if the teacher has any creative ideas to help solve the problem.
9. Ask about the consequences.   If they 'change a color' do they also lose outside time? Why?  Is that a school wide policy or teacher policy?

Bottom line, ask questions!  I have seen children get in trouble because they were finished and there was nothing else for them to do while others finished.  I have seen children get in trouble because they didn't understand or weren't able to do the work, frustrated.  I have seen children get in trouble just because the teacher was having a bad day.  I have seen children get in trouble because the teacher didn't really know young children and was expecting them to do something they couldn't developmentally do.  I have seen children get in trouble because they were being a pill and needed a consequence.  It's your child, dig deep to find the root of the problem.   If you don't get answers from the teacher, follow due process and speak with the principal.  Looking back there were situations where I didn't want to be 'that parent' so I didn't say anything.  I wish now I had dug deeper to find out why my child was acting out.   Maybe it might have changed things, maybe not.

If your child does get in trouble at school and it is justified,  be supportive but don't punish your child again at home.  That's a double whammy.  It was handled at school.  Discuss it of course but don't punish again.

Your child has 13 years of going to school.   This year should be the most fun and the one he or she looks forward to every day.  Help make that happen.  Get answers.

It says what? Silly handwriting - take a deep breath!

Go ahead, try and read it.   I'll give you a hint, it says his name Parker and a date.   Did that help?  I absolutely love trying to decipher beginning writer's writing.  It gives such a wonderful window into what they are thinking and reminds us of what we take for granted.   The fact that the P and a look the same is a mute point.  Clearly they are two different letters because one is larger than the other.  But to a beginning writer, they do look the same.  You and I might make a 2 ( I know you thought it was a z) in one continuous stroke, but not Parker.   You can see he made the middle line first and then added the top and bottom.  I love that he demonstrated the idea that if there is no more room on the paper, just come back around and go the opposite direction.  Makes perfect sense to a beginning writer.

Now, there are sadly some teachers that will be very concerned, yes even on the first day of school about Parkers' writing.  In case you didn't figure it out, he wrote, Parker, July 28, 2014.  Many parents are concerned too.  But please, don't be.  First of all it's handwriting!!  How many of us still print in the beautiful manuscript that we learned in Kindergarten?  Better yet, after all those hours of cursive writing, how many of us still write that way?  I can't think of anyone.

Before my teacher friends "unfriend" me let me say, yes handwriting is important.  I believe in teaching children how to write.  Parker will learn to make a 2 correctly.   It's important because he needs to have automaticity in writing.  As he grows as a writer he needs to be able to write letters quickly to be able to allow more brain space for his writing thoughts.  He needs to be able to write letters so others can read it.   That right there is the reason we teach writing, it is so an audience (or others) can read it.  Pure and simple.  

Believe me I am not saying handwriting isn't important.   I believe, though, that we spend way too many of our precious minutes on it.   If a child can write letters quickly and if you hadn't been watching, they look great...let it go!  

Do me one favor please.  If your child brings home a handwriting homework sheet, send it back.   Handwriting needs to be practiced in front of the teacher, not at home while nobody is watching.  Case in point, my son, many, many years ago had  handwriting homework.   He was to make a page of H's.  At the beginning of the page they were great and written correctly.  As he continued, his writing deteriorated (which is common).  He, being the ever so clever one, began to 'draw' the letters.   First on the row, he did this:  -   -    -   -   -.   Then he went back and added this:  -l  -l  -l.  Catching on?   Then he finished off by adding this:  l   l   l.  I can't replicate it on a computer, but basically he made each stroke separately.  By the time he was finished he had a beautiful page of H's but only the first row had been made correctly.  For him it was a lesson in art.

Parker's writing will improve.  It will improve as his little fine motor muscles in his fingers and hands develop.  It will improve as  his teacher models writing and making the letters in front of him.  It will improve just  by giving him a little more time and not stressing over it.   The very last thing we want to happen is for a beginning writer to be so stressed about how the letters are made that they shut down and don't write at all.   To me, that is criminal.   That's just me and I am weird that way.

The first time is heartbreaking!

My daughter walks Parker to school.  It's just down the street and around the corner.  It takes 6 minutes to walk or 7 minutes if Zoey is wearing her princess heels.  There is only one street to cross and it is the one in front of the school with the crossing guard.  Last Friday (and only the fifth day), she had to drive him to school because it was pouring down rain.  That should have been her first clue as it never rains in El Paso!  When they parked at the corner, Parker unbuckled, jumped into the front seat and said, I know where to go and can do it by myself.  Emily did what every first time mom of a new Kindergartener, day care or other school setting said, No way Dude!  They crossed the street together then he walked ahead and kept looking back to make she wasn't closing the distance. He made her stop 100 yards from the door and proceeded to go in all by himself.  When she called me, what made me laugh was I had told her she would want to 'wean' him from her walking him in probably in a few weeks!!  I should have realized Parker would be ready WAY before that.

Oh the heartbreak of not being needed and realizing your child is growing up.  It's so hard for moms but so exciting for your child and...the educator/caregiver of your child.  We want our children to be independent, that's a skill that will be needed in life.  Children who are independent, are confident in a school setting, do so much better in the long run.   What parents don't realize is that once the parent is gone, the teacher isn't being a helicopter caregiver.  The teacher/caregiver is hoping the child is or will be independent.

I am not saying to start letting your 3 year old walk to the park solo.  But, can you teach your child to hold your hand and walk?  It is troubling to me when I see parents carrying children very capable of walking.  It's one thing if you scoop them up because you are rushed crossing a street or something, but please let them walk.  Are there times when you can say, Go on, I am watching, you got this.  Whatever you do, don't carry your child into school.  Walk your child to the room or cafeteria and then walk away.  

How about eating?  Maybe it's time to let your child feed him/herself.  I know it's so much easier to do it for them, but that won't build self-confidence or independence.  When they are particularly young it's a little harder but you can still let them begin to be independent.  As you start to do something for your child, think, can he or she do this or try to do this?  I know it's really cute and fun when they are 2, 3 or 5.  But it's not so cute when you are still walking them into their college class!

Just food for thought.  Take baby steps.  Typically the child is ready for independence before you are ready for them to be.  Where can you let go....let them have a little independence?

Sooooo, what are you modeling?

My 19 month old granddaughter really doesn't need to roll her legs.  She didn't run or workout. However, she is surrounded by people who do need to ice and roll sore muscles. No one has sat down and said, Lola, this is how you roll your quadriceps.  She has seen her Pops do it on a regular basis in front of her.

We were at the zoo the other day and had found comfort from the 100 degree temps in the little cafe.  A family came in and one of the little boys was crying and crying and crying.  It was obvious to everyone that he was hot and/or upset.   His mother proceeded to yell, Shut-up.  Just shut-up. He didn't stop, in fact he just cried more. I was reminded by my children that it wasn't my 'business'.  My daughters and son-in-law were getting upset as well as everyone else in the room.  A few more times, before they left, the mom repeated the same shut-up, shut-up.  What I found interesting was nobody in her group intervened.   They all just sat there and listened. Finally, they left, crying child and all.  

I can't help but think about these two completely different situations of the power of modeling.   Both model for a child how to do something.  The first is cute and we laugh, but it's positive and basically harmless.  The second is dangerous because we really don't realize what we are doing. Children will talk to others as we talk to them.  I can promise you that if that is what the crying child hears on a regular basis, at some point he will start telling people to shut-up.  

I am surprised (not really) when parents tell me they don't understand why their child is so sarcastic or rude.  Yet, everything out of the parent's mouth is sarcastic and/or rude. You have modeled that! (Sadly, I have seen teachers model that too.) We shouldn't have to teach 'please' and 'thank you'.  If you don't want your child to say, gimme that, then you say, May I have that, please? when you ask for something.  Then, when your child hands you something, or does something say, thank you.   They will do it because that's what you have modeled.

If you want children to talk to you and others respectfully and kindly, then you talk that way.   Model that everyday for your kids.  Kids just replicate what they see and hear.  If you talk sarcastically or rudely to people, I know it's not my business, just don't be surprised when your children talk that way too.  So the next time your child talks in a way that is less than kind, think about how you talk.   Maybe it's not you, maybe they overheard the neighbor.

So, what are you modeling today?