"The primary need of children is to know they are loved. It is learned through consistent responsive & nurturing interactions!"
Children know they are loved by the time we spend with them. We don't have to spend every waking moment with them. Obviously if we work outside the home that isn't possible. But when we are with them are we being responsive and engaging in nurturing interactions? Do we set aside time for just them?
I was at a neighborhood coffee shop the other day, killing time between appointments and there was a group of moms with small children. It was mid morning so either the children were home schooled or not in school yet. I was there about an hour, the moms were there when I got there and still there when I left. The moms were engaged in lively conversations about all the things they had coming up. Here are a few: gymnastics, piano lessons, upcoming birthday party, soccer. That was just for the kids. The moms discussed all of their upcoming activities too, everything from spa days to yoga to 'shopping' trips. There was a little part of me that thought, Wow, they have a lot of activities, they are being exposed to a lot! But in the whole hour I was there, they never interacted with their children except to tell them to stop, get down, come here, pick up that napkin, help your sister, throw that away. One child kept asking his mom to look at something. The mom kept saying in a minute. In the hour I was there, apparently the minute never came.
I was at a neighborhood coffee shop the other day, killing time between appointments and there was a group of moms with small children. It was mid morning so either the children were home schooled or not in school yet. I was there about an hour, the moms were there when I got there and still there when I left. The moms were engaged in lively conversations about all the things they had coming up. Here are a few: gymnastics, piano lessons, upcoming birthday party, soccer. That was just for the kids. The moms discussed all of their upcoming activities too, everything from spa days to yoga to 'shopping' trips. There was a little part of me that thought, Wow, they have a lot of activities, they are being exposed to a lot! But in the whole hour I was there, they never interacted with their children except to tell them to stop, get down, come here, pick up that napkin, help your sister, throw that away. One child kept asking his mom to look at something. The mom kept saying in a minute. In the hour I was there, apparently the minute never came.
There were no nurturing interactions. The interactions were only commands or directives. As I drove away, I thought how many of us talk to each other that way. I don't mean rudely, none of the moms were rude, just direct. At the end of the day can we say we spent nurturing time with our kids? Can we say we gave them our time, uninterrupted by electronic devices? Did we just sit with them and listen to them, hear what they have to say?
In our world today we run from thing to thing to thing. I hear parents say, We've been running all day! They get home, get bathes and go to bed. Yes, we want to have our kids in activities. Mine were! However, as the above quote says, the basic need is to know they are loved. We show that love by spending quality time with them.
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