The other night we decided to go out to eat as a family including our 22 month old grand daughter. We do it all the time and she behaves beautifully. This night, however, she wasn't feeling well, cough, runny nose, grumpy and so on. Short story, she wasn't happy. She wanted to go inside, then outside. Wanted a chip, didn't want the chips on the table. Typically, if we can distract her she is fine. Nope, she started a blood curdling cry. As everyone stared, I took her outside, trying to hide behind the dumpster so nobody could see I couldn't get a 22 month old to stop crying. I finally went back and motioned to her mom to come out, tell Pops we were leaving, tell the others to help themselves to our drinks, but we were out of there. I thought if we drove around the parking lot she would calm down. Never, she threw herself on the floor of the car and then became stiff so we couldn't get her in the car seat. She finally calmed down after I ran into a near by store, bought a sippy cup and milk. Her mom was almost in tears and so was I!! I secretly wanted to yell, STOP CRYING!None of us involved in the ill fated dinner enjoyed it. Nor should we. And, truth be told none of us will miss that! Yes, we will miss the funny things Lola does at this age, but to tell a parent to enjoy a tantrum throwing child at that moment is a lie. Just as big a lie is to tell parents they will miss that. No one has ever enjoyed that!
Luckily, no one said that to any of us. I can't say how I would have reacted. But I have observed well-meaning moms tell young moms they should enjoy every minute because there will come a day when they will miss their little kids.
I don't know of any parent who at one time or another didn't think, what WAS I thinking? There are days when nothing goes right and the children all seem to be possessed! You just survive those days. You don't enjoy them and nor should you! Believe me, you will miss some days, but not those!
So parents, don't beat yourself up if you don't enjoy when your children push your buttons or throw tantrums. Don't feel guilty. You won't miss those days! I don't. Do they grow up quickly? Yes! Do I like to reflect back and think about when they were little? Sure. I love my children, I have loved watching them grow and become wonderful adults. There were some stages that were hard to endure. And honestly, there were some stages I thought about giving them away. (Not really.)
So give yourself a break. The next time your child is behaving badly, and someone tells you to enjoy it, smile politely and say, no thank you!
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