Dreaded Parent/Teacher Conferences - MAKE SOMETHING UP!

If you haven't participated in a parent/teacher conference yet, unless you home school, you will sooner or later.  With three children we had a few.  We didn't have as many as  we should have.  Our children were mostly 'conformers' or 'teacher pleasers'.  In other words, they didn't get in trouble and they made good grades.  What I found out was that teachers didn't have conferences with parents like us.  Once I called and set one up and the teacher was speechless.  She didn't understand why I wanted a conference.  Well, for starters, I just wanted to know how my child was doing.  The reply was 'fine.' The teacher couldn't really say anything specific about my child.

Over the years I have drawn the conclusions that teachers see conferences as a time to tell you what your child isn't doing or can't do  How far behind he/she is, how disruptive your child is.  It's hard for teachers to find good things about a disruptive child or a child who may bring scores down.

Every parent deserves to hear good things about their child.  Even a child who is disruptive does something good! Typically a parent already knows if their child is behind.  If the parent seems to be in denial, more often than not it's to save face.  Parents really aren't stupid!! If the teacher does start in on the laundry list of what your child doesn't or can't do, thank her and then ask what CAN he/she do. It's a red flag if the teacher can't think of anything.  It's also very sad.

If your child is behind more than likely the teacher will tell you all the things you need to do at home to bring him or her up to 'grade level'.  Please be sure and ask what the teacher is going to do to bring your child up to grade level.  You see, that's why you send  your child to school.  Yes, a little support may be needed at home but a lot of support and differentiation is needed at school!

Conferences should be a time to hear good things about your child and things that need to be worked on.   Again, if there is a list, ask the teacher to prioritize the needs.  Then start working on them one at a time.  When your child asks how was the conference or what did the teacher
say, share the concerns.  Share the positives too.  If there were no positives, MAKE SOMETHING UP!!