When our children were still at home we started a Fulenwider Family Fun Day (FFFD). These were days that I would plan and we would do things as a family, no friends etc. The activities were typically things that most kids wouldn't choose on their own. You know like going to an art museum, going to a tree farm, going to a musical, trying a new sandwich place etc. I will tell you they won't enjoy it until after the activity. They will grumble and groan at the beginning. When they are grown you will learn that they did appreciate it, in fact even enjoyed it and want to do it as adults. You see, young children don't really know what they need.
Building memories and traditions is probably right up there with reading to your child. Each year at Christmas our extended family would go to a 'family' movie. It was always fun to see what was coming out, what would be appropriate. Now, I am sure no one can remember all the movies we saw this way. But, we do remember the time we went and...... or the time when...... and who can forget the time we were afraid it would be sold out so we got there way early. We were the only ones in the theater. So we passed the time by singing. That's a memory!
Children will always remember the little things you do. Things we take for granted. Stick a little note in the lunchbox. They might not mention it until you miss a day. Stop at Sonic for a slush on a hot day. They will surprise you. One day they will say, but we always ......remember how we....
When our children said they didn't want to stop playing and go to church for Cherub Choir, we said, "Oh that's what we do in our family." No 5 year old wants to stop playing outside! Guess what, they loved it as soon as they got there each week. When it was time to go to little brothers game and it didn't sound like much fun, we reminded them that, "oh, in our family we support each other." Some of our best memories are from events watching each other.
A note to moms. Before you get upset, understand that even as young children, it is a given mom will be there, be a good listener, be a hugger. I went to everything my kids did or were in (unless it was my school function as well) that my husband went to. We went TOGETHER. Imagine my hurt feelings when our daughter made the comment that her dad was "her hero because he came to everything!" What about me I cried to MY mom? I was there too! But you see, kids just believe that mom will be there, that's their job....dads many times aren't.
Think about all the CEOs who are wealthy but admit they missed their kids growing up while they were 'building' their wealth. I am not saying that is right or wrong but think of everything they missed that they can't get back.
So plan a game night even if it is Go Fish or Memory. Plan a picnic (preferably not a windy day in the 40's, but you can eat in the car!) Have a no-technology/no TV night. Sit with a pile of books and read. Have a night where everything has to rhyme. Have a (your name) Family Fun Day. Start a tradition, build memories, you might not see the rewards until 10, 20 years later, but you will see them. It's one of the greatest things you can do for your kids. It won't be measured on a test but...who cares!
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