It's not about you

One of the things my grown children like to say to me is, Mom, it's not about you.  They aren't being rude or disrespectful just telling me how they see it.  Sometimes it's justified, like when I worry about  what people will think about me when the situation has nothing to do with me.  Sometimes it isn't justified. But that's okay.

I was reminded of this the other day when grocery shopping.  I overheard a young boy ask his mother if they could get a pumpkin to carve.  The mom quickly replied with a resounding No, I hate how messy they are!  The boy asked a few more times each time getting a variation on the original 'No!'  I couldn't help but think, it's not about you, it's about giving your child the experience of carving a pumpkin!  

I wanted to say something but I was reminded of the other thing my kids tell me regularly and that's, Mom, it's not your business, not your child.  So, I just kept shopping, keeping my mouth shut.

I started thinking of all the things parents/friends have shared with me about experiences they have denied their child because of their issues.   One never let her child use glue...too messy.   Another never allowed scissors...too dangerous.  One never allowed her child to help cook...too time consuming.  Another never let her child help with laundry...too I'm not sure what.

Bottom line, kids need experiences.  Truth be told, if we only allowed things that fit our criteria, not messy, completely safe, within our time frame, I am afraid our kids would do nothing.

I am amazed by the number of adults who have never carved a pumpkin!  Carving a pumpkin is very messy and slimy but also great fun.  Washing and then roasting the pumpkins seeds is even more fun and yummy.  If you really want to go all out, cook the pumpkin meat and make a pie or bread.  

If you don't want to expose your child to the carving pumpkin experience, think about it as building a memory!   (Plus, think of the vocabulary you can develop while cleaning out the pumpkin!)