To spank or not to spank

To spank or not to spank that is the question about which everyone seems to be talking.  Before you stop reading, I am not going to say you should or shouldn't spank your child.  I am going to hopefully give you something about which to think.  I am very much against hitting a child or any human being with a belt, spatula, switch or object.

According to Webster's Dictionary, spanking is a verb and means "to strike on the buttocks with the open hand."   So first off, if you are using anything other than your open hand on the buttocks you are not spanking you are hitting or striking.

Now that we have that cleared up, my problem with using a belt, spatula, spoon, switch etc, is that you have no control over how hard you are hitting.  You can't feel the buttocks as you can with your hand.  The object you are using has no feeling.   Your hand does.

Let's take the argument, My parents used a belt on me and I turned out okay.  That sentence bothers me on so many levels.   First off, I turned out okay, implies you had something to overcome.  The other problem I have is that each generation tries to be better than the previous one.  Hopefully we learn from the previous generation.   We used to use children in sweat shops until we got smarter.

Why do we spank or hit?  We do so to stop a behavior or change a behavior.  Most child psychologists will tell you that the 'punishment' or intervention must fit the child.   In other words, it has to be meaningful to the child.  Taking away a toy a child doesn't like will not make an impression.  Taking away a favorite toy will.  Maybe taking away a toy isn't what needs to be done, maybe taking away tv time or iPad time.   What is meaningful to your child?  It also depends on the age of the child.

Time out works if you stick with it.  There are a lot of substitutes for spanking or hitting your child.  Google disciplining your child.  One site is Kids Health.

Remember modeling is more powerful than words.  So if we tell our children we don't hit people and then we hit them what message are we sending?

All I ask is that if you choose to use corporal punishment use your hand not an object.   And just give it some thought.